This is why Astaroth rules. Bizarrely, he manages to be the most sensible of all the “bad guys.” Nightmare wants to kill everything because he is Death Metal Incarnate and does bad shit because reasons. Tira is just nucking futs and I guess in love with Nightmare or something. Raphael turned into a crazy vampire and tried to burn down the world to make a little vampire girl happy (but maybe he’s better now??). Nobody knows what the fuck is even up with Cervantes, Soul Edge got into him and he became an unholy zombie pirate bent on plundering souls like booty but I guess he’s alive again now, whatever, who cares. I have no clue what Algol’s deal is but fuck him anyway.

Astaroth, meanwhile, is all “hmm this guy is mouthing off. BETTER CHOP HIM” and then he turns around and sees this massively powerful unholy artifact and thinks, “OH MAN I BET THAT CHOPS REAL NICE” and if he gets his hands on it he uses it to chop a bunch of things and maybe becomes the god of chopping. He is a simple man with simple desires. Whenever he runs into some obnoxious hero or overwrought villain he’s just all WELP CHOPPIN’ TIME and starts hollering and murdering and he generally has a grand old time because he’s fucking Astaroth, what else is he even going to do. He has found his purpose and is happy.